How to be a Woman Who Holds Things or How to Carry things Like a Woman by hms
How to be a Woman Who Holds Things or How to Carry things Like a Woman by hms Your own weight plus your mother’s weight plus your grandmother’s nail polish count plus the size of your womb plus the curvature of your father’s eyebrows divided by the arch of your foot, subtract your Monday night exhaustion circumference impression in the couch and the Rorschach pattern on your pillow Thursday morning Double your waist measurements (the real ones) and multiply by -how many times a month you crave dark chocolate -your ambition -your worries -how many times a month you say you’ll start a compost TUESDAY: Balance baskets & toddlers & groceries & anger & staying pretty & car keys & coffee & too tight jeans & grief & class schedule work schedule social mingling hair loss postponing calling your sister missing your nieces’ laughter and missing-toothed smiles Go ahead and grab too the judgment in every pair of eyes when you attempt to contain your wailing child on the airplane, Times the expectation of all men times the expectation of all eyes of men & books too & the news telling you what you should do & the ever-growing list of impossible, ridiculous, unimaginable limitations— Now how much does that weigh? Don’t forget to pick up the birthday card! and Lucy from soccer along with the never-ending laundry loads, and folding folding folding into the mold folding is that too much enough to hold Shhh! why are you talking so loud, Don’t make a scene but be fucking beautiful as a Magazine lay down and pick up a tan a bronze a wax pick up a new haircut and expect it produces the same effect the movies promise to do— With you too! You can be better too! Always. You must always be being better. Then ADD in the concern of your best friend for your wellbeing Plus doubt for that friendship’s sincerity because she could carry more than you once; last Saturday. Keep score. You must always be keeping score because they are so what’s the total now? Then + 10. or add the number your partner rates you in bed to his friends Then + the number you would rate yourself if you had a better partner And which parts of you count most SUBTRACT plastic bags purchased too slow promotions always under a microscope no hiding no peeking but plumping promoted yet never advertised as priced ADD Shame for any time you make a decision on your own (x2 if you’re proud of it) TIMES the number of immediate family members + the number of unborn children + that thing you forgot at the store DIVIDED BY the number of times you hoped they were The One. Grab a sunset on the beach for passing pleasure & carry the guilt of enjoying that small moment of doing nothing else & carry the fury of having to Constantly be calculating Constantly improving Constantly calculated Okay so now— what’s your total? How much are you holding? Can you beat it?
Submit your polished poetry for the opportunity of being published on ViewlessWings.com and being interviewed on The Viewless Wings Poetry Podcast.
Hear hms recite the poem on the Viewless Wings Poetry Podcast:
hms is a poet, actor, and hippie fun auntie, daughter, sister, tomboy, creative. She enjoys hikes in the woods, singing, and theatre. This is hms’s first publishing! She has pursued her acting career across the globe; performing in LA, Off Broadway in NY in 2022, then taught kids’ theatre in SF and more after school programs. Currently enrolled in her first poetry class at Berkeley City College, hms has been writing in journals since her pre-teen years, and hopes to continue to grow in the poetry community.
